Word of the Day: Tragedy

trag·e·dy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (trj-d)n. pl. trag·e·dies
A drama or literary work in which the main character is brought to ruin or suffers extreme sorrow, especially as a consequence of a tragic flaw, moral weakness, or inability to cope with unfavorable circumstances.
A play, film, television program, or other narrative work that portrays or depicts calamitous events and has an unhappy but meaningful ending.
A disastrous event, especially one involving distressing loss or injury to life: an expedition that ended in tragedy, with all hands lost at sea.
A tragic aspect or element.

When I was in 9th grade, my English teacher made me write an essay about a single word. I thought this was a stupid assignment. I mean, isn't it a little weird that in order to explain one word I would have to use another 400 some words? I decided I would just close my eyes and point to a random word in the dictionary to write about. The word I selected: necrophilia. Yeah, my teacher wouldn't let me write about that.

So finally I settled on the word tragedy because it was the most negative-sounding word that my teacher would let me write about. In the essay, I had to explain why I selected the word I did, to which I gave the same reasons I listed here above. I got a D on that paper.

And here I am several years later, and discovering that writing about a single word can actually be fun! But alas, the real tragedy is that Laura is coming back and I will now be handing her blog back to her. I wonder how long it will be before she revokes my access?

Thanks for letting me play with your blog Laura! It was fun.

Word of the Day: Penultimate

pe·nul·ti·mate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (p-nlt-mt)adj.
Next to last.
Linguistics. Of or relating to the penult of a word: penultimate stress.

Seeing as Laura is returning from Israel late tonight, this will be my penultimate blog entry.

That is all I have to say.

Uh Oh

There's a very loud sawing sound coming from above my head. I think someone's cutting apart the ceiling. That's going to really suck when it falls into the cubicle Timoni and I share. Because then, while we're incapacitated and Laura's still in Israel, who will do our work? The world will be waiting in anticipation wondering what country is dumping bedroom furniture into U.S. markets, and they'll NEVER be able to find out who it is!

Word of the Day: Dowry

dow·ry ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dour)n. pl. dow·ries
Money or property brought by a bride to her husband at marriage. Also called dower.
A sum of money required of a postulant at a convent.
A natural endowment or gift; a talent.

I had an interesting discussion about dowries while hanging out at an Arabic school today. (Side note: if you're interested in learning Arabic, I can hook you up.) Why is it that people look down upon Middle Eastern and other cultures that still believe in brides bringing a dowry with them into a marriage? Cause really, how is that any different than the American standard of the bride's family paying for the whole show? Isn't the statement "hey, we'll foot the bill for dinner and a band" the same as saying "here's our dowry?"

One day, when I have oodles of free time on my hands (so that'll be Monday I guess) I'll have to research the whole wedding thing. At what point in humans evolution process did celebrating a marriage become throwing away lifes savings for a big fancy party?

I'm sitting in a cofee shop while writing this, so I feel like a real blogger now! Let's hope I don't spill my latte, cause my laptop isn't insured for things like that.

A Message from the Queen

I received an e-mail from Her Royal Word Repository Highness today. Laura is having a wonderful time and "Israel is just incredibly amazing."

Oh, and HRWRH says she's checking the blog. So this would be a good time to leave some I love Laura comments in hopes that she'll bring you back some cool Israeli stuff.

On an unrelated note, Laura's being in Israel has inspired me to start reading Israeli newspapers online again. I came across this advertisement in the two main English newspapers (these are the exact words):

JDate.com Everyone knows someone who fell in love on JDate.

Ah yes, the age old "well everyone's doing it and I want to be cool" trick. I am tempted to write them and ask "so if all of my friends who know someone who fell in love on JDate jumped off a bridge, should I follow them?"

Word of the Day: Resemblance

re·sem·blance
The state or quality of resembling, especially similarity in appearance or in external or superficial details.
Something that resembles another; a likeness or semblance.

I look forward to Wednesdays because that's the day Entertainment Weekly publishes its recap of Tuesday's Amazing Race Episode. Not because I need to know what happened on the last episode because a. the show sucks this season and I don't care and b. despite this I keep watching it. The reason I'm excited for it each Wednesday is cause I love the writer. Laura's written about it in her blog before - he's just got this great sense of sarcasm and wit that we really enjoy.

But this week there was a different writer. Same column, same topic, same recap of the episode, but so not the same. It was merely a resemblance of the column I am used to reading.

The writer is what makes the column, not the substance. Without the sarcastic style I've come to admire, this column was just a page of pointless uninteresting words.

So I thought I'd share my disapointment. By writing about it on a blog that is not mine. Hmmm...

Stress and Boredom

One of my biggest weaknesses is that I get stressed out a little too easily. I'm trying to be better, but look, it isn't my fault. According to Washington Post (my personal bible if you will...) there is a logical explanation: boredom is a condition that can be more stressful and damaging than overwork.

Due to both Laura and our boss being out of the office Monday and Tuesday, Timoni and I have been left "home alone" so to speak. So far we haven't done anything bad like burn down the office. (This is an actual concern, seeing as I am semi-responsible for causing the fire alarm to go off in a toaster mishap.)

And since this is one of Laura's favorite topics, I feel obligated to report that American University's ousted president agreed to a $3.75 million resignation package rather than be fired. So let this be a lesson to all you potential gross misusers of other people's money out there - you will get caught. But then you'll make a hefty profit anyhow.

Word of the Day: Absence

ab·sence ( P )
n.
1. The state of being away.
2. The time during which one is away.
3. Lack; want: an absence of leadership.
4. The state of being absent-minded; inattentiveness: absence of mind.

Since she is off frolicking through the Holyland, I will be updating Laura's blog in her absence. So don't fret adoring fans of Laura - for seeing as I am in essence her mini-me, you'll hardly even notice that Laura's gone.

This is the longest period of time Laura and I will have been apart for over a year. We spend about 40-60 hours a week together - that's more than many married couples! Actually, I suspect the reason Laura is trusting me with her blog is because she knows I need something to do to fill the empty spaces in my calendar while she is away.

I'm watching CNN's non-stop hurricane coverage and they are interviewing some church goers in the Keys who are refusing to evacuate. And here's why: some nun built them a statue in 1922 (or something like that) and the nun said as long as the statue stands, the town will not suffer a direct hit from a hurricane. So a reporter asks this woman if she believes if the statue will protect you from hurricanes, and she says "yes. Every church throughout the country should put up a statue and there would be no hurricanes."

Well, that settles that. Tomorrow I'm quitting my job, taking my Crown Victoria over to Home Depot to load up on uh, statue making supplies, and hitting the road for my "End All Hurricanes" campaign. Who's with me?

Here's some Good But Not Good News: tropical storm Alpha formed today. I realize that hurricanes = bad. But I'm kind of excited about the new record in number of storms!

Update on Steveoween

So, Steveoween was so awesome that I have to post the photos before I go. It's 3:38am and I am getting up at 7 for my flight to Israel. That is how important Steveoween was. Need I say more?

Here are some of the photos. First...

When people saw we were bridesmaids, they naturally asked if there was a bride...That's how we met Mike.


Michelle wearing her friend's freaky mask...


The three of us, post Steveoween

Word of the Day: Anticipation

an·tic·i·pa·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-ts-pshn)
n.
The act of anticipating.
An expectation.

I paid for this trip in May. October seemed so far away then. I leave tomorrow for the trip I've been waiting to take since I knew who Jesus was. Now I'm just wondering how I'm going to make it through tomorrow. I leave my house at 8am, but don't get on the flight to Israel until 8pm. Then when we finally arrive after 15 hours on a plane, we go straight to the first activity on the itinerary.

Anyway, Michelle will be watching after the blog. Have fun Michelle!! See you all November 1.

Word of the Day: Tocsin

tocsin \TOCK-sin\, noun:
1. An alarm bell, or the ringing of a bell for the purpose of alarm.
2. A warning.

Consider this your one-day warning. Tomorrow I will probably post my last entry until Nov. 2 when I return from Israel. But, never fear, Michelle will be here to entertain while I'm gone. Here is an excerpt from an email she sent me today (printed with her permission) so you can get a feel for her style before Sunday when she takes the reigns.

Me: Maybe next week you'll actually have the workload of a normal person. Mine and yours. You'll hate me when I return cuz you'll lose half your work.

Michelle: You are probably right, or most likely, because this generally is what happens when one of us leaves, the world will fall apart and suddenly i'll have too much to do. then i'll complain about how busy i am. and people will be like "you complain when you're bored. you complain when you're busy. when do you not complain?" then i'll be happy to have you back, but coincidentally the day you return there will be nothing to do and we will return to our normal boringness. which I will complain about.

There's a hummer in our office. I think I may have discussed this before, along with the whistler and the girl with the annoying laugh, but the hummer definitely takes the gold for being the most bizarre of the characters in this office. She's not a lackadaisical hummer. She's what I think to be an anxious hummer. She tends to speedwalk through the office frantic-humming to no real tune. It's more like a noisy vibration coming from a high-powered outboard motor. Michelle says "i should not be able to hear her humming over my ipod music."

Michelle, Timoni and I are going to a Halloween party of epic proportions this weekend. It's called Steveoween. This is because the party falls halfway between Steve's birthday and Halloween. Who is Steve? Well, that remains a mystery. Michelle was invited by a friend of a friend of Steve's and T and I decided to tag along. Duh, it's an opportunity to dress up and to mingle with the 93 people who responded "yes" to the evite. We are all three going as bridesmaids. I'm sure absurd photos of this event will be posted as soon as I return.

Details are likely to follow from Michelle, but the b-day plans are for dinner at Fuddruckers (it's my fav) at 8 in Dupont and then Dragonfly afterwards. If anyone is randomly reading this post and lives in the DC area and has nothing to do on Saturday, Nov. 5, there will be 12-15 hot single girls at Dragonfly. Stop by!

Word of the Day: Lost

I've been talked into watching Lost on DVD. I must admit, I'm not usually one to catch on to a craze immediately, so watching the show for the first time during the second season is not unlike me. I wasn't going to watch Lost at all, but Kim convinced me. Thank you Netflix.

So now that I'm two episodes in, I have these things to say:

1. What the hell is that thing that's chasing them?
2. The third episode is called Tabula Rosa, which I would like to point out was the Word of the Day a few posts back. Excellent!

Two days to Israel.

Word of the Day: Maunder

maunder \MON-duhr\, intransitive verb:
1. To talk incoherently; to speak in a rambling manner.
2. To wander aimlessly or confusedly.

I have a bunch of nothing to talk about right now. Seriously.

First, I should warn you all that I will have a guest blogger manning the Repository while I'm in Israel next week. Her name is -- well you all know her -- Michelle. You'll be glad to know she's just as bored as I am during the day, so she'll have just as much random nothingness to discuss. It's only 4 days until I leave!! I still haven't made plans for Veteran's Day (despite a very good recommendation I received). That's so sad.

I realized today that I've gotten really good at this technique I taught my coworker when she started working here. It's called "OBE", short for Out of Body Experience. Whenever I'm in a meeting, I grow furiously impatient at all the talk-around going on, and I am increasingly irritated by the fact that rational human thought is totally underutilized. So I learned quickly to leave the table (mentally - OBE) immediately upon sitting down to keep myself from extreme frustration. I get it. It's the govt. Nothing is supposed to happen quickly, but must it be talked about incessantly until our ears bleed?

I found a great new artist yesterday while scanning the *new* russian site for music. (note to self: remove Best Music Site Ever from links). His name is James Blunt. A cool mix between David Gray and Jack Johnson.
Great song:

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

What's the point of Saddam Hussein refusing to identify himself at trial?

After several raucous hours, which included a brief shoving incident between Hussein and a guard, the proceeding was adjourned until Nov. 28.

Michelle will be posting a location for the non-birthday party we're having on the 5th (it's a Saturday so we HAVE to celebrate) mostly because I'm turning 28 and I feel that's a milestone. Plus I want to celebrate putting my condo on the market and other random useless antics. Might go to Tabaq (Bronwyn's suggestion) or Saint X or I don't know. Just stay tuned. And here's a tribute to Steve, who's birthday is on Nov. 9.

Last night I had a dream that I left my job and sold my condo (which are both immenent) but I freaked out the day I didn't have to go to work for the first time. I couldn't believe I'd just quit 2 weeks after my huge raise. And I just refinanced my house. Um. Good call there Laura. Don't worry I'm not quitting tomorrow. I'm just considering moving to a new city. These things must happen in life.

Timoni posted a Missed Connection today and got a reply from the wrong man, but a cute one at that!

This Blunt song reminds me of missed connections:

I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
And I don't think that I'll see her again
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

I told you it'd be random today!

Will Cheney Resign??

Cheney resignation rumors fly

US News is reporting rumors that Vice President Cheney will resign over the CIA leak and that President Bush will appoint Secretary of State Rice to the VP slot. And wouldn't that set her up nicely for the Presidential bid in '08? I'm only concerned because I work for State and it's quite possible, if these rumors are true -- and they clearly might not be -- that I would have a new boss soon, which affects a lot of things here, least of which is the fact that we must change every living document to reflect the change. And didn't we JUST do that??

According to US News:

"It's certainly an interesting but I still think highly doubtful scenario," said a Bush insider. "And if that should happen," added the official, "there will undoubtedly be those who believe the whole thing was orchestrated – another brilliant Machiavellian move by the VP."

Very interesting this theory that the administration could be orchestrating this in an effort to set up another republican win for 08. I'd vote for Condi. I'm loyal.

Word of the Day: Exhilaration

ex·hil·a·ra·tion Pronunciation Key (g-zl-rshn)
n. The state of being stimulated, refreshed, or elated



What am amazing experience! There's nothing quite like paying someone a bunch of money to jump out of a perfectly good airplane at a really high altitude, only to plummet to what seems pretty clear to be your imminent death. But then the cord is pulled and the world floats back into perspective. Thank God I'm going to live another day!

The feeling of falling was not nearly as frightening as the split second when you see the guy in front of you sucked into pure air and realize you're next. All I remember hearing before flying was "Put all ten toes out the door!" Then I spent the next minute or so trying to explain through hand gestures that I couldn't breathe and thought I was going to die. All I got in return was a kiss on the cheek.

Suddenly the pressure dropped and I was still alive. Safe. Breathing. You might be laughing, but I really thought I was going to suffocate in the air. How ironic would that be? My instructor took us on a million loopty-loops on the way down, spinning so fast I could see the parachute straight in front of me. It didn't occur to me until that moment that I so blindly trusted this thin, sheer material with my life. Wow.

Here are some more photos. And a link to my AOL Photogallery if you want to see more. Michelle let me take this photo of her nursing a nose bleed. Her fall was not so graceful when the wind changed and she fell 10 feet to the ground with the instructor landing on her.

My Fiftieth Post

Tomorrow's forecast is beginning to worry me.

WINDY
63 degrees
SUNNY

Sunny, good. Windy, bad. Today was a lovely, warm, sunny day. If tomorrow we cannot go skydiving again because of the weather it will be our own faults for not going today.

Another holiday is coming up. Veteran's Day. I don't feel like I can waste the weekend in D.C. I need to find some place to go. I was thinking about Vegas. There's a writing conference there on Friday the 11th. I could drive to the Grand Canyon! Or maybe Colorado to visit Kim. I'd like to hole myself up somewhere for like two days to write this book. Or just get outta town on another big adventure. Anyone have any ideas where I should go?

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL ISRAEL!!!

More Matt Nathanson

What an awesome concert. I so love the 930 Club.



Sunshine, I'm beginning to like this.
Cause all I want to be is the minute that you hold me in,
when you pretend that I'm all that you waited for.
Time slips to nothing and I'm better than I've ever been.
I'm suspended.
With your breathing, filling up my lungs
I can almost believe that I'm almost enough
--Suspended

TGIF Word of the Week: Sinecure

sinecure \SY-nih-kyur; SIN-ih-\, noun:
An office or position that requires or involves little or no responsibility, work, or active service.

Thanks to my sinecure job, I have plenty of time to post random bits of information on my blog. YAY!

Michelle and I are going to a Matt Nathanson concert tonight at the 930 club. I LUV him. If the Best Music Site Ever was working, I'd download his CD. Alas, it is not. The page says it'll be back up on the 13th. I wonder if they haven't noticed that it's the 14th today.

Show me where the sun comes through the sky
I'll show you where the rain gets in and
I'll show you hurricanes
The way that summer fades
You can lift me up to put me down again
underneath the weight of it all.

--Weight of It All

So last night I became aware of a little situation in my family. I have the most loving, awesome family. With that said, I think they're trying to kick me off the island. My sister mentioned a funeral that took place last weekend and it came out that the entire family had neglected to mention to me that an important person in the family had passed away. I mean, it was a week and a half ago. Were they ever going to tell me? Then I realized after my sister said she thought my mom had called me that my mom, in fact, hasn't called me in...well, frankly I can't remember when. MOTHER -- CALL ME!!

I feel so faded
So far gone
Nothing suprises me anymore

--Suspended

I think I need to sell my condo and cash out. Going Mondo Condo. A condo was recently sold in my building for $80K more than I paid. The same layout. I need to get out now, take my money and run. The only question is where will I run? I don't really know where to move next.

Word of the Day: Starveling

starveling \STARV-ling\, noun:
One who is thin from lack of food, or who is starving or being starved.
Update: adj. Starving. Poor in quality; inadequate.

I can't believe this is an actual word. I'm adding this to my daily vocabulary.

I was seriously starveling for progress on my book in the past few weeks. I keep trying to write from home and that just never works. I end up doing laundry or vacuuming or, well, just about anything that doesn't involve putting words on paper. Tonight, as I was slowly sliding off my cloud from the weekend, I trekked it back to Common Grounds and endured the deafening music in order to get back to the root of the story. And what do you know, it worked. I hear it again. Words poured out, and I'm not surprised because they've been cooped up in there for weeks.

Do the words and the cloud have a connection?

Update: If anyone has anything interesting, like a cool word, phrase or name, they would like added to my book, post it here and I'll do my best to include it. It'll be a cool challenge to fit it in somewhere and when it's published you'll be able to say you contributed! But no royalties! I have to draw the line somewhere.

Word of the Day: Euphemism

The Best Music Site Ever (listed on right) promises to be back up tomorrow after a FULL WEEK of brokenness. I'm already planning what music I'll download. I am a tiny bit fearful that it'll now be like 20 cents for a song or something, but I suppose I can handle that. I'm so spoiled.

eu·phe·mism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (yf-mzm)
n. The act or an example of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term for one considered harsh, blunt, or offensive.

The word of the day is brought to you by Michelle, who suggested it after our boss and coworker were caught in an amusing euphemistic exchange. (Yeah, so what if I just made up a new phrase.)

Coworker to Boss: I'm having some issues right now.
Boss to Coworker: You mean problems?
Michelle to Both: I prefer to call them challenges.

Someone I know (whom I prefer remain nameless) said today two things within an hour of each ohter that I found immensily disturbing. Said person randomly met a couple in the waiting room of her doctor who asked her if she would donate an egg to them, and she agreed. Right there in the waiting room. For free. And she's getting fake eyelashes? I don't know. I must be losing my hearing because there is just no other rational explanation.

Are we all going to die of bird flu? Is it actually possible that a mass pandemic could anihilate half the U.S. population? I spent most of my day emersed in bird flu (bird flu web pages, that is) and I just can't seem to see what all the fuss is about. Haven't we come far enough with Science that we could get this under control before we all start dying off? If I have to be quarantined in my apartment for months on end, can I at least have a cute guy there with me? That's all I ask.

Skydiving on Sunday!

Sun, Oct 16
Sunny
71°/47°

Skydiving is on for Sunday!!!

I clearly have nothing to do today. PUHLEASE can I go home!!??

Uh-oh. I'm going to die of cancer.

Scientists Finding Out What Losing Sleep Does to a Body

I decided to read the Wash Post Health chat in my boredom today, just before I almost fell asleep at my desk, but now I see that was not a wise decision. Now not only do I speculate that my serious lack of sleep is harmful in some way, I have proof that I will someday die of cancer, or obesity or even heart disease. (I'm going to rule out obesity for obvious reasons).

My mother always tells me how horrible it is that I don't get enough sleep. My response to her: "There isn't time in the day to accomplish everything, so I have to borrow from the night". If I was a morning person, I doubt this would be an issue, but I do some of my best writing in the middle of the night when all the stupid noises, such as that guy who whistles all day long at his desk that is 15 feet from mine, are gone and I can think and breathe in pure silence.

According to the Wash Post article, I'm pretty much out of luck:
"... not sleeping enough or being awake in the wee hours runs counter to the body's internal clock, throwing a host of basic bodily functions out of sync."

Then there's this prediction, which is rather odd, seeing as how everyone must die sooner or later...
...[a study] found people who slept the least appeared to be significantly more likely to die.

I read a book that said every hour you sleep before midnight is worth two hours of after midnight sleep. Too bad I never go to bed that early. I'm missing out on quality sleep.

And then there are vivid dreams. Does everyone have incredibly vivid dreams like I do? I have the most insane dreams and they're usually in high definition color. What is the significance of a bright red truck that turns into a motorcycle? I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was riding a rollercoaster with a friend and we didn't realize we didn't have seatbelts or anything holding us in until we went upside down and he was dumped out of the bucket to plummet 300 feet to the ground while I watched in horror.

Countdown Begins: 12 Days Left

Only 12 days left until I leave for Israel. I can't believe how fast it's approaching, probably because it's mid-October already and I can't even remember large parts of September. Kim and I are deciding what to pack and what things we can take on the plane to stave off boredom for the 15-hour flight. If you have any ideas, please leave a comment.

The trip is organized by a tour company but is lead by the pastor of my church McLean Bible. We're going to Caesarea, the Sea of Galilea, Tabgha, the Mount of Beatitudes, Capernaum, Tiberius, Megiddo, Mt. Carmel, Nazareth, the Garden of Gethsemane and the Temple Mount and the Wailing Wall, Bethlehem, Jerusalem, Masada, and we get to float in the Dead Sea.

Who knows if I'll have any internet access while I'm there, but if I do, you'll certainly see updates on the blog. I still can't believe I'm going.

:(

We didn't go skydiving today. So don't ask.

The weather did not cooperate.

Word of the Day: Earthquake

I have been breathing earthquake today. Not to sound trite (because I have a great amount of sympathy for the people of South Asia) but is there any way we could get the natural disaster schedule changed so that they don't keep happening on the weekend?

Tomorrow is Michelle's birthday. She's finally 24. I swear she seems older than that. We went out last night to Continental to celebrate and inadvertantly ended up crashing a wedding. I think. And I met the most charming guy. Why do men look so hot in suits??

For her actual birthday, we are going skydiving (thank you Christopher Columbus for losing your way to India and therefore affording us a day off in the middle of October to go jump out of a plane). My boss (who just happens to be her boss too) said he wasn't comfortable with the thought of us both being in the same plane. I guess there's more chance of one of us surviving if we're not. Is that a pleasant thought.

I'm a little apprehensive about this jumping from 4,000 feet thing. In reading the FAQ page of their website today, I came across a very disturbing piece of literature. This link is to the weather page. Click on the word monkey to share my distress. Did you know that chickenheartedness is an actual word?

In between submitting pages and creating categories for my webpage, I made Michelle a quilt for her birthday. Shh...it's a surprise. I'll post a photo soon. I'm really pretty proud of it.

Earthquake in South Asia

I am blown away by this earthquake. 18,000 people died. We just got done declaring a major disaster where less than 1,000 people died. And now we will give back all the money other countries just gave us. It's like a little game. Well, I know what I'll be doing Sunday -- creating a web page.

Earthquake in South Asia

Word of the Day: tabula rasa

tabula rasa • \tab-yuh-luh-RAH-zuh\ • noun
1 : the mind in its hypothetical primary blank or empty state before receiving outside impressions
*2 : something existing in its original pristine state

At first I chose this word because I like saying it, but then I realized that wasn't enough of a reason to use it as a word of the day. So then I considered how wonderful it would be if we had a reset button. Yes, for ourselves. I was staying with my Tucson friends at their friends' house in Great Falls on Friday night. Sundee and I baked a pie in the oven. A normal, everyday (well maybe not everyday seeing as how I don't usually just have the stuff to make a pie sitting around) occurance. However, this time was special because when we set the timer, it broke. I should preface that remark with the fact that this house is a million dollar (or more) monstrosity (if I call it a house, that would mean that I live in a shoebox). Sundee said the neighbors further down the street where the "real expensive" houses are call these guys the white trash of Great Falls (again, I'm not too keen on what that makes me).

Anyway...back to the oven story. So the timer breaks and instead of just shutting off, it proceeds to beep annoyingly, over and over until we all want to kill ourselves. The owners of the house were out of town, so now it appears that we ruined their oven, and while Eric was contemplating taking apart the mechanical parts, Sundee and I were plotting a scheme to shatter it with a sledge hammer.

The only point of that story was to give significance to the word of the day because that annoying timer made me consider how wonderful it would be if we each had our own personal reset button. No more beeping noises, no more broken timers, no more plots to destroy appliances.

And while we're on the subject, I slept in the movie theater last night. I'm not exaggerating. I now aspire to have my own in-house movie theater, complete with three tiers of stadium seating with light runners along the stairs and 20 leather recliners all lined up to watch the protector screen. The only sad part was that they owned every episode of Stargate and I think that is negligent misuse of a home theater.

Today's Random Thoughts

Today I can't seem to narrow down my thoughts enough to focus on one topic, so I'm making this a random hodgepodge. Beware, reading this may give you greater insight into my brain than you ever wanted.

I read something this morning that said our lives are mostly spent "waiting for the next 30 seconds to reveal what's next". I was just thinking about how seldomly the next 30 seconds reveals something I didn't do yesterday.

VICTORIA'S SECRET

To start things out, I had the great pleasure of walking by the new Victoria's Secret store at the Tyson's Mall last night while I was out with my friends from Tucson. And yes, it is quite racy. I don't really know what they were trying to do with this attempt at harnessing sex appeal through deliberately posed practically nude mannequins. Victoria's Secret is (was) a place where most adults feel comfortable walking in to buy something for themself or their partner. I considering myself rather open-minded about such things, and I'm not easily embarrassed by sex appeal, but I would feel a little "dirty" going in there. I mean, it's all red lighting inside, the mannequins are embarrassingly underdressed. It's a sight to see.

Everyone has a different opinion on what's offensive. However, I think the difference here is that other such flagrant displays of a sexual nature, such as magazines, are covered on a newsstand so only people who pick it up and uncover it can see it. The models in VS's window are LIFE-SIZED and in your face. You go into the mall to watch a movie, you end up getting a free peep show instead. You might not stop shopping at VS, but I dare you to walk in there without feeling guilt. It's like Frederick's of Hollywood only way more slutty (um, multi-media!).

So wait, now not only are we competing with airbrushed models, now we must compete with PLASTIC??

NEW BANKRUPTCY LAW

"Two weeks before a new, more restrictive national bankruptcy law goes into effect, financially strapped Americans are rushing to file for protection from their creditors, with filings climbing to an unprecedented average of 13,000 a day last week."

OMG, 13,000 people a day file for bankruptcy? Is there no self-control in this country? Not only are most Americans overweight, they're financially irresponsible as well? And we wonder why we have such a huge national deficit. If politicians are anything like the average joe, we've got a huge problem.

GAS vs. LATTE

From a funny little article in the Motley Fool about how recently more Americans have not been paying their credit card bills on time. The credit card companies blame this on rising costs of gas, but how long can people hide behind that excuse?

"To fuel their gas habits, consumers clearly have to cut one weekly latte out of their budget or face the consequences of making their credit card payments. That' s 45.8 million lattes. Every day. What will baristas do with all that extra foam?"

AMAZING RACE:

The Amazing Race *used* to be my favorite show (and apparently many others held the same sentiment seeing as how it's won the emmy for best reality show for 3 years now). However, that was before the Family Edition began last week. I've since had to rethink my devotion to the show. The Entertainment Weekly wrapup (linked above) says it all:

"Let's face it: Nothing spices up a Race more than watching Americans struggle to overcome a language barrier. Sure, America is fine and dandy, but that doesn't make it a fun place to watch people race across. This season comes across more like a junior-high educational film than entertainment...

Oh, sure, in Third World countries they'll stuff contestants onto a bus with 420 chickens, a shipment of human feces, and a tour group heading to a syphilis convention, but for this race, they're kept preserved in their American SUVs. I say put these people on a Greyhound, sitting next to drunks being sent out of town by police and wheezing old people who fall asleep resting their goiters on the racers' shoulders. Now that's an amazing race!

It began anticlimactically enough when Phil announced that the teams would have to first drive 15 miles. Fifteen miles? Is this a race or an errand? If the next eating challenge consists of large quantities of green eggs and ham, I'm handing this column off to the first sixth grader I see.

TATTOOS

This is my third attempt to write about tattoos, since blogger doesn't think it's worthy and keeps shutting me down. Timoni suggested I copy the text every 2 minutes. Good in theory… but it'll never happen. My mind is devoid of the ability to repeatedly do anything on any kind of time schedule.

So, what I was gonna say about tattoos is… oh nevermind -- just read this (from the article linked above…
"He has erased tattoos from every part of the human body surface, even parts you'd think are far too tender to be exposed to a tattoo needle. The phrase "love pump" was tattooed on one guy's . . . well, never mind."

One might think I've spent all day reading Washington Post articles -- oh wait... (see: Word of the Day: Fraud)

Word of the Day: Savvy

Savvy
n : the cognitive condition of someone who understands

I never cease to be amused by the lack of technical savvy the people I work with possess (or lack possession of), considering we run a website. In my position, I am expected to constantly roll with the punches, conform to whatever happens to be the system of the day, and not only must I be able to work with the program, I am also expected to be proficient enough to train a person relatively devoid of any redeemable computer skill to use the program with enough proficiency to not turn the website into a laughing stock. Despite my efforts, there always seems to be one or two who just can't seem to catch on, after months, even A FULL YEAR of trying.

I've been working on this site for two years now and I understand almost every aspect of it with general clarity (I won't say "all of it with full clarity" because Chris is probably reading this and he knows that's not true). So I am duly astonished when someone who's been using the system for a year comes to my desk weilding her manual with the words DON'T PANIC scrawled across the front in red block letters.

She says, "Are you going to help me figure out this site? You're gonna have to be patient with me. I learn slowly." Then she picked up her retirement packet from my desk and made her way out the door. Does anyone else see the irony in that? (Side note: she was already trained by two other editors in this office).

Word of the Day: Cavil

cavil \KAV-uhl\, intransitive verb:
To raise trivial or frivolous objections; to find fault without good reason.

So I joined a new writing group this weekend. I spent 3 hours with this strange published and prolific group of five misfits (as writers usually are), and in the end I came out with a huge contempt for writing groups and not much else.

One of the guys in the group had written a short story which we had to *read aloud* in the group because it was sent through email as an attachment that no one but me could access. So I had the lovely experience of reading it twice. The story, in short, was about a guy who orders a prostitute to give him an orgasm at the same time that he shoots himself with a gun. He dies and the prositute strangely stays in the hotel room and pleasures herself with the gun. Then some security guards arrive and rape her. I'm sorry, did I miss something? Do people actually read this stuff?

WE READ THAT ALOUD!

Following that excrutiating hour, we discussed my story, which was promptly picked apart in full and cavil detail. Now, I've had a few people read the first few chapters and all have said it's a pretty good start. Greg said I should give less detail, let the reader figure it out for himself. I tend to agree with him on this point. Giving away too much, or dumbing it down for the reader is never good. I have a weakness in this area. However, smut guy suggested that I be explicit with the reader (shocker coming from him) and go so far as to even divulge the contents of the protagonist's shoulder bag. WHAT?? You don't need to know that she carries lipstick, a tampon and a half-eaten roll of lifesavers.

Anyway, then smut guy proceeded to tell me that I should know he's going to steal my idea. I laughed. He said, "You're laughing, but I'm serious." First rule of fight club: DO NOT STEAL OTHER WRITERS IDEAS.

Word of the Day: Autumn

And just how did it get to be fall already? I can't believe it's October. The chill in the air hints at the fact that winter is quickly approaching. The sweet smell of apples lingers even while grocery stores and farms start selling pumpkins and nine varieties of squash. Incredible.

My favorite things about fall are apple picking (which I did this weekend in Maryland with Dawn and Michelle -- this was our third year!) roasting pumpkin seeds, driving down Skyline Drive to see the leaves, and the moist chill that holds the faint scent of damp leaves and dewy grass.

Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter." ~Carol Bishop Hipps