Hawaii: The runon sentence

Consider this notice of the fact that I will not be around to update the blog beginning Saturday morning and continuing through the following Sunday due to the fact that I will be vacationing in the sun on the white sandy beaches of Hawaii for an entire week, completely and utterly devoid of a schedule or any other form of mundane and useless work and I won't feel bad about it at all, not even a little bit, not even when I think of you back here working at your desk hour after hour, bored out of your mind, wishing you could be on the white sandy beaches of Hawaii when instead you have ample time to update your own blog and probably no remaining vacation days because you already wasted them on useless "pretend sick days" and therefore can't leave your little comfortable desk chair for approximately nine more months while you earn what few days you can in order to take just half a week's vacation, which you'll probably spend doing something like moving to a new apartment, which might as well be work anyway, and I probably won't bring you back anything from Hawaii either because I'm too poor now that I took a week off and paid for the airfare and the hotel, so don't expect any big jars of macadamia nuts or Kona Coffee because if I give you anything al all it'll probably be a really big picture of me vacationing in the sun on the white sandy beaches of Hawaii without you.

Aloha!

Word of the Day: Agog

agog \uh-GOG\, adjective:
Full of excitement or interest; in eager desire; eager, keen.

I am so excited! Tonight the coolest thing happened. I was at church with Cassie and just before the service was done, out comes Mercy Me, one of my favorite Christian bands. Now for those of you who know me, you are well aware that I listen to more Christian music than secular and though I can tell you all about Jack Johnson and O.A.R., I can, and probably will, recite all the words to every Switchfoot song, and I can tell you the names of all the tracks to every Jars of Clay song ever written (on seven albums, which I can also name and date). Mercy Me has been a favorite of mine for five years when I first hear their song I Can Only Imagine. So when they show up unannounced at church, YOU can only imagine my excitement.


Apparently they were just "stopping by" on their way to the airport for a flight to New York. They are promoting their new album Coming Up to Breathe, which isn't out in stores until Tuesday. But lucky us, they were selling copies for $5!!! And not only that, but after we picked up our $5 CDs the entire band was standing RIGHT THERE with pens and they all signed our CDs. Now I not only have the CD before it's even in stores for 1/3 of the price, it's just become priceless. Mercy Me can stopping looking -- they've just met their biggest fan.

Word of the Day: Specious

specious \SPEE-shuhs\, adjective:
1. Apparently right; superficially fair, just, or correct, but not so in reality; as, "specious reasoning; a specious argument."

This word seems to sum up what occured here on Friday night. It was right and fair and just and correct that Tofu Todd or I were to win the game of Seafarers. However, the victory was apparently specious in that it wasn't attained in reality.

In reality, Timoni won the game. And not only did she win, she slaughtered us. Todd had 4 points. I had 5. We are clearly not as good at alliances as we once assumed. In the future we need to create a whole new game plan or else we will have to do some serious cheating. That win was ours! It was. Just not in reality.

Word of the Day: Domination

dom·i·na·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dm-nshn)
n.
Control or power over another or others.
The exercise of such control or power.

You know I can't think of anything to blog about when I start rambling on about world domination based on a board game, but tonight is going to be a feat of total world domination never seen or heard of before. I dare say Tofu Todd and I are on track for taking over the entire civilized world in what can only be classified as a masterpiece of strategy and allure. Settlers of Catan (or more specifically Seafarers of Catan), is one of my favorite games of all times and some of my favorite people of all times will be coming over this evening to embark in a friendly game or two.

I'll report back on the outcome, but you can bet it will begin with the glorious victory of either Tofu Todd or the Empress (me).

Word of the Day: Allergies

al·ler·gy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lr-j)
n. pl. al·ler·gies
An abnormally high sensitivity to certain substances, such as pollens, foods, or microorganisms. Common indications of allergy may include sneezing, itching, and skin rashes.

The allergy season is especially bad this season, if you couldn't tell by the itching eyes, sneezing and basic irritation of everyone around you. You're well aware if you've spent any time with me in the past few weeks. According to ABC News:

April is the cruelest month — just ask any seasonal allergy sufferer. But this April is especially pitiless, since a mild, wet winter in many parts of the country caused an early start to what has become a record-setting allergy season.

They listed ten of the worst cities and not surprisingly Washington, D.C. is right up there. I personally suffer from tree pollens (which are causing the misery this week) but even worse for me is the grass pollen, and those don't come out until June.

Here is a cool interactive map of the U.S. with highlighted pollen counts. Good luck out there.

Word of the Day: Consistent

con·sis·tent ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kn-sstnt)
adj.
Reliable; steady: demonstrated a consistent ability to impress the critics.

This is my 150th post. I feel a great sense of accomplishment. The best part about this blog is that I can go back into the catalog of my life and pull out little snippets of things that happened for reference. It's practically indispensible.

This weekend was Easter. I spent it with my dear friend Kim in Elizabeth, Pennsylvania. We cooked and ate, and ate and cooked and had the best time two friends could have. I made it to Season 2, Episode 17 of Lost, so I'm almost caught up. And that crazy ending with Hurley is just TOO much. And on the way back I got to test out the racing ability of my car, which is way too fun. I don't think I dropped below 80 the whole way. I love how no one drives in the right lane when it opens up to three lanes (for trucks). I'd get over there in the right lane and buzz by all kinds of slowpokes. Is "slowpoke" a bad word?

For anyone who cares, it is currently 57 degrees OUTSIDE and 79 degrees (and rapidly rising) INSIDE. Oh how I love my office.

Yesterday was a really bad bus day for me. Nevermind the fact that I was evaded by three buses and ended up 20 minutes late for work. On my way home I was reading a magazine and was, I can only imagine, totally engrossed in it, because when I finally looked up we were WAY past my stop. Like four stops and a mile past my stop. I had to walk all the way home. Here's to hoping today is better.

Word of the Day: Incorrigible

in·cor·ri·gi·ble ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-kôr-j-bl, -kr-)
adj.
Incapable of being corrected or reformed: an incorrigible criminal.
Firmly rooted; ineradicable: incorrigible faults.
Difficult or impossible to control or manage: an incorrigible, spoiled child.

Some of you may remember a little episode I had a while back with the office temperature lady. (What would be the title of a person who controls the temperature?) Back in December the office was so cold, we had to wear three coats, a scarf and gloves just to stay warm. It was anywhere between 67 and 70 degrees on a daily basis, which often led to us complaining incessantly about frostbite and hypothermia. Finally, one day I broke down and called the temperature lady.

Flash forward to April 13, 2006... I enter the building. I ride the elevator, walk down the hall... it's all quite pleasant. Until I set foot into the office in which I work and around me settles air so stiflingly warm that I almost can't breathe and my skin clams up instantly from unbelieveable humidity. I can only imagine they are trying to prove to us they have absolutely no control over the temperature of this building. It has been an incorrigible 80 degrees everyday for two weeks. Oh yeah, sure, occasionally the temperature dips to a low of 77 - but that is a rare occurance.

By the second week of this weather, my florescent light coworker was threatening to come to work in shorts and my boss had mentioned something about a speedo. I would have to take desperate measures if I was going to save my sanity. So what did I do? I called the temperature lady. She arrived with her laser temperature gun and pointed it around at various surfaces testing the temperature, which she found to be between 78-80 degrees throughout. "It's really hot in here," I said with a resigned sigh. "It's well within the acceptable range according to the GSA," she says. "We don't have to do anything about it."

I looked up this supposed "range" and the only thing I found suggested that during occupancy the building should be kept between 70 and 78 degrees. 80 is, as I see it, well WITH OUT the acceptable range. Furthermore "Overexposure to heat can lead to a decrease in physical and mental performance, resulting in an increased potential for errors and accidents," says the Department of Sustainability and Environment. I believe it is in their best interest to turn the heat down already and quit trying to run us out of here by threatening to melt our brain cells.

And that lady should really learn to calm herself down. I'm not asking her to anihilate the universe. I'm asking her to turn the temperature down a degree or two. It's really not that big a deal. It's a dial. You turn it. It goes down.

Word of the Day: Squalor

squal·or ( P ) Pronunciation Key
A filthy and wretched condition or quality.

I'm living in squalor.

The office refrigerator problem just became so much worse. On friday we were instructed to clean all perishable food out of the refrigerator because the power would be out all weekend. Fine. Some benevolent soul from the other office that uses or fridge cleaned it out and put all the old food in plastic bags and placed them near the door of the kitchen. It's just that he forgot one small detail. It was after 2pm, so the cleaning crew had already come for the day. And there is no cleaning crew over the weekend.

(Fast forward to Monday morning)

What is that smell? Ew. Is that the garbage from the refrigerator? All sitting there in neat little plastic bags, exactly where they were left on Friday? I wonder how many mice and cockroaches feasted on old leftovers over the weekend? You'd think an office full of people who were terrorized recently by a never-ending mouse problem would be a little more careful not to leave food laying out all weekend.

Anyone for some warm yogurt?

Word of the Day: deus ex machina

deus ex machina \DAY-uhs-eks-MAH-kuh-nuh; -nah; -MAK-uh-nuh\, noun:
Any active agent who appears unexpectedly to solve an apparently insoluble difficulty.

I can now tell the world what 2am and 4am look like in full detail. I have spent the past six nights researching what occurs when most sane people are tucked away safely and snuggly in their beds. During these hours when the world is quiet, I am awake bringing order to the universe by providing the rest of you lazy people with the answers to what you've always wondered: What do people do in the middle of the night?

(For those of you who have asked out of sheer concern for my well-being, the chanting has stopped. I know this because I am awake all night.)

My reasoning for being awake all night is three-fold. 1.) I believe the chanting is over because I have finally officially been brain-washed into staying up all night. 2.) I'm sick, and sleeping is prohibited when sick. 3.) I am suffering from "overactive brain syndrome" which results in being unable to shut down activity until approximately 7:43 -- two minutes before my alarm clock goes off.

Here is what I have learned in my insomnia:
1. There is more traffic at 4am than at 2am.
2. Traffic lights do not run on an abbreviated schedule even after 2am when instead of 20 cars passing per second there is an average of 1 car passing per five minutes.
3. If you listen long and hard enough, you can almost hear other people talking before you realize it's all in your own crazy head.
4. Peanut butter tastes better after midnight.
5. The only thing on TV is monotonous infomercials about food dehydrators and annoying ads for get-rich-quick real estate programs.
6. No one likes it when you call them before the sun rises.
7. If you try to write a book during the night hours, you'll have to erase it all in the morning when you realize it's completely incomprehensible.
8. You still have to get up at 7:44, so WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE??

The Great Scavenger Hunt

Last Saturday we ran around DC like the crazy people we are on a huge photo scavenger hunt. The point was to get more points than the other teams based on which photos you decide to take. We only had a disposable camera with 27 shots so it required a lot of strategic planning to get the most possible points. In the end, my team won by 15 points, despite a 30 pt deduction for being 22 minutes late returning. Here are a few of my favorite photos from the event.

Just tell me this photo doesn't look fake. Even the sky looks fake (35 pts).

Here's the team doing kartwheels with the Capitol in the background (25 pts):

And here's the team in a porta-potty (35 pts)

Word of the Day: Five Guys

Don't worry, I'm not going to actually write a whole blog entry about five guys... oh but I am going to write about FIVE GUYS -- as in the best burger place in the world, "...a little joint with all the charm of an RFK Stadium bathroom," according to a wash post writer. Here's a link to the story in the post...and a few excerpts:

Four years ago, before franchising, Five Guys was just a little family burger operation with five locations and a steady, if cultish following, in Northern Virginia. Today the business is by some estimates heading toward $1 billion in value. Five Guys has 87 locations. Most are in the Washington region, but a hundred more will open along the East Coast this year, and another thousand are being phased in. Each store, the company says, pulls in about $1 million a year.

An interesting question: Should the pickles go on top of the tomatoes or should the tomatoes go on top of the pickles?

Thus, you can't buy one Five Guys franchise. You have to buy at least five.

I used to work at a "Five Guys" type of establishment when I was in high school. It was called Burger Hut and was considered "medium fast food". I'm not surprised that I love Five Guys so much since my days at Burger Hut forever endeared me to a really good hamburger. I love it that you can now find Five Guys everywhere instead of just in Bailey's Crossroads and Springfield. I've decided officially that I can't move back to the West coast until Five Guys has become firmly established there. All you people who think In and Out Burger rivals Five Guys are wrong. It's not even close.

Cherry blossoms

Cherry blossoms
Originally uploaded by timoni.

One of the best things about Timoni, amongst hundreds of things, is that she always has a camera with her and is prepared to take photos of all the excursions we go on, including our trip to the cherry blossoms on Friday. So here is a lovely photos compliments of Timoni.