Word of the Day: deus ex machina

deus ex machina \DAY-uhs-eks-MAH-kuh-nuh; -nah; -MAK-uh-nuh\, noun:
Any active agent who appears unexpectedly to solve an apparently insoluble difficulty.

I can now tell the world what 2am and 4am look like in full detail. I have spent the past six nights researching what occurs when most sane people are tucked away safely and snuggly in their beds. During these hours when the world is quiet, I am awake bringing order to the universe by providing the rest of you lazy people with the answers to what you've always wondered: What do people do in the middle of the night?

(For those of you who have asked out of sheer concern for my well-being, the chanting has stopped. I know this because I am awake all night.)

My reasoning for being awake all night is three-fold. 1.) I believe the chanting is over because I have finally officially been brain-washed into staying up all night. 2.) I'm sick, and sleeping is prohibited when sick. 3.) I am suffering from "overactive brain syndrome" which results in being unable to shut down activity until approximately 7:43 -- two minutes before my alarm clock goes off.

Here is what I have learned in my insomnia:
1. There is more traffic at 4am than at 2am.
2. Traffic lights do not run on an abbreviated schedule even after 2am when instead of 20 cars passing per second there is an average of 1 car passing per five minutes.
3. If you listen long and hard enough, you can almost hear other people talking before you realize it's all in your own crazy head.
4. Peanut butter tastes better after midnight.
5. The only thing on TV is monotonous infomercials about food dehydrators and annoying ads for get-rich-quick real estate programs.
6. No one likes it when you call them before the sun rises.
7. If you try to write a book during the night hours, you'll have to erase it all in the morning when you realize it's completely incomprehensible.
8. You still have to get up at 7:44, so WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE??