Word of the Day: Abandoned

So here it is, the Friday before Memorial Day weekend and I am the only -- yes, the only -- person still in the office. My coworkers mostly all took the day off. That's fine. Except, they let us out early today, as the goverment sometimes does, and because my lovely coworkers are not here to do their jobs, I must stay and do their jobs for them before I can leave. Now when they said they were taking the day off, I didn't know this would keep me from taking part in the early release. Now I'm bummed.

It's quiet in here. And I'm a little scared. Deserted cubes and empty office air is a little worrisome to me. Who knows what could happen in an office when you're alone. All the lights might shut off soon, actually, because they are on a sensor and the only thing in the room that is moving is my fingers on the keyboard.

Oh how I despise the Photo of the Day.

To keep myself busy in the deserted realm of my pitiful existence in this office, I am looking up old Top Ten lists. Here's a good one for the weekend.

Top Ten Signs A Guest At Your Memorial Day Barbecue Is A Spy

10. He introduces himself as "00-Larry."

9. Keeps whispering into the potato salad.

8. Embarrassing slip up -- refers to A-1 Sauce as "The B-1 Bomber."

7. Seems oddly knowledgeable about who wants a burger and who wants a hot dog.

6. Kid who beats him in sack race sent to Siberian prison.

5. Asks if the hibachi has a gyroscopic laser guidance system.

4. Wears an apron which reads, "Kiss the spy."

3. You ask him how he likes his burger -- he bites down on a cyanide tablet.

2. After a couple drinks starts telling you nuclear launch codes.

1. He seems awfully interested in the Titan missiles you keep in the shed.